I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didnt't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!!

Are you Andy or Barney??

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars

around. That's how far ahead of time they are.

When the officers say "Gee son.....Your eyes look red, have you been

drinking? " You probably shouldn't respond with. "Gee, Officer, your eyes

look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"