Bubba died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed
someone to I.D. the body. So,they called up his two friends, Jim-Bob and
Billy-Joe, to do so. Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the
sheet. Jim-Bob said, "Yep, he's burnt purdy bad. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled the body over. Jim-Bob looked at the butt and said,
"No, dat ain't Bubba." The mortician didn't see anything unusual about the
corpse's backside, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he brought in
Billy-Joe. Billy-Joe looked at the body and said, "Yep, he's burnt real
bad. Roll him over."
The mortician again rolled the deceased over. Billy-Joe looked
down at his butt, and said, "No, dat ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Billy-Joe said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" responded the mortician.
"Yep. Everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time
the three of us went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with
them two assholes.'
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a
couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up
ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer
drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish
drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads,
and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked, Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat,
and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock,
the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch!"