If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it

immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty


It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but

it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your

computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit

cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the

tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to

scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness

settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk

curdles. It will program your phone auto dial to call

only your mother-in-law's number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It

will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are

expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with

Rogaine. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw

things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active

verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable

misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key


If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95/98

environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave

your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full

bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from

your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim

milk with whole milk.


In case you are a blonde, this is a joke